How I’m Prioritizing Myself After Years of Taking Care of Everyone Else

For a lot of years, taking care of myself wasn’t really at the top of my list.

When you’re a mom with little ones, you can easily get into the grind of simply making sure everybody is okay. Your kids are learning, growing, absorbing everything and needing you for what feels like every ounce of everything.

You pour yourself into them without always realizing how little you’re leaving for yourself.

I did that for many, many years.

And whatever energy I had left after raising my kids, I poured into building my business.

There just wasn’t much of me left for me.

My kids are older now. My business is what it is right now. There are still things I want to accomplish and things I want to change, but one thing I know for sure is that I can’t continue neglecting myself while trying to take care of everything else.

So these days, I’m learning to prioritize myself again.

Not because I need to become some completely different woman.

I actually just want to feel like me again.

I’m Taking Care of My Body Again

One of the biggest areas I’ve been focusing on is my physical health.

Over the years, I’ve gained some weight, become less active and gotten away from some of the things that made me feel my best physically.

So I’m getting back to them.

I’ve been walking more and focusing on becoming more physically active. I’m not trying to punish myself with exercise. I simply want to move my body, become stronger and get back to where I feel good.

I’ve also been paying much more attention to what I’m putting into my body.

I’m eating more whole foods and intentionally adding more protein, fiber and iron to my meals. I’ve also been experimenting with foods like kombucha, sauerkraut, kefir, yogurt, sourdough and other fermented foods.

I’m not following some perfect diet.

I’m learning what works for me and being more intentional about giving my body good food and the nutrients it needs.

Honestly, feeding myself well has become one of the biggest forms of self-care for me.

I’m Doing Things Simply Because I Enjoy Them

I’m also trying to do at least one thing every week that has nothing to do with work, my kids or something that needs to get done.

Something that’s just for me.

Do I accomplish that perfectly every single week?

Absolutely not.

Life still happens.

But I try.

Sometimes it’s watching an old nostalgic movie that I love. I’ve gone to the golf range just to practice hitting balls. Sometimes I get my nails done.

The activity itself isn’t really the important part.

The important part is getting back into my own life.

One thing about being an entrepreneur who works from home is that I spend a lot of time alone. I can very easily sit at home working away without realizing how disconnected I’ve become from everything outside of my immediate family and business.

I’m intentionally trying to change that.

I want experiences. I want hobbies. I want things I enjoy that don’t need to become productive.

And ironically, I’ve learned that living more actually makes my work better.

As a content creator, you need a life to create from. Inspiration comes from experiences, conversations, trying things, going places and actually living.

So prioritizing myself isn’t taking away from my work.

In many ways, it gives something back to it.

I’ve Romanticized My Nighttime Routine

This has been a big one.

I have completely romanticized my nighttime routine.

I’ve gotten serious about my skincare again. I’m working on hyperpigmentation, texture and some of the other changes I’m noticing as I get older, so I’ve created an actual routine with my serums, moisturizers and treatments.

But it goes beyond skincare.

Give me the everything shower.

The body washes. The African net sponge. The oils. The creams. The castor oil. All the things that smell good and make my skin feel good.

I’ve turned the entire thing into a little nighttime ritual.

And there’s something deeper about that for me.

Taking that time is almost like saying to myself:

I still love you. You’re worth taking care of. You’re worth the time. You’re worth the effort.

If I want to turn taking a shower and getting ready for bed into a whole process, I can.

I spent years giving my time to everybody and everything else.

I can give myself some of it now.

I’m Learning to Ask for Help

This is another form of self-care that doesn’t involve a candle, a skincare product or a trip to the spa.

I’ve learned to open my mouth.

I’ve been self-sufficient for a very long time. My natural tendency is to figure things out myself and keep going.

I’m learning not to do that all the time.

When I’m struggling, I say something.

When I need help, I ask.

When I need to talk because everything feels overwhelming, I talk.

I’ve learned that holding everything inside doesn’t make me stronger. Eventually, it comes out anyway, and usually not in the way I would have wanted.

Allowing myself to lean on other people when I need to has been incredibly therapeutic.

I’m Giving Myself Grace

Maybe the biggest change of all is that I’m learning to give myself grace.

I’m not a robot.

I cannot do everything perfectly for everybody all the time.

I’m allowed to get something wrong.

I’m allowed to have an off day.

I’m allowed to change my mind.

I’m allowed to fail at something.

I’m allowed to be human.

I’ve historically been very hard on myself, so giving myself that space has been huge.

And maybe that’s what prioritizing myself really looks like in this season.

It isn’t necessarily some dramatic transformation.

It’s eating food that nourishes me.

Moving my body.

Taking care of my skin.

Doing something simply because I enjoy it.

Asking for help.

Creating a peaceful nighttime routine.

Giving myself grace when I don’t get everything right.

I’m still a mom. I’m still building my business. I’m still showing up for the people I love.

I’m just finally putting myself back on the list, too.

And I think I should have been there all along.